Anniversaries

Although the monarch butterflies regularly return to Mexico and the swallows always make it back to Capistrano every March 19th, it's we homo sapiens who most regularly celebrate anniversaries. Hallmark and the FTD, in fact, have a made a pretty going concern of encouraging this trait among us. We love to have annual reminders of whatever special days in our lives need to be remembered.

For me, two of those days occur in the month of June. One we just passed, June 11th, the Feast of St. Barnabas. It's not a day to mark with candles and great whoop-de-do, but on that day in 1961 my life was inalterably changed when I was ordained into the ministry of the Episcopal Church. It's been quite a ride! Forty six years, over 2,300 Sundays, many "Easters" and more than a few "Good Fridays", and a spiritual and emotional journey that I wouldn't trade for anything.

I have always had, truth be told, a lover's quarrel with the church (apologies to Robert Frost), but that has never, not for a moment, diminished my respect and affection for the institution. Sometimes the rigidity and imagined self-importance of its leaders is a source of embarrassment and frustration, making me want to hide my clerical collar where it can't be found. Other times, however, and more frequent times, I've been almost sinfully proud to be a part of the Episcopal Church.

The other June date is the summer solstice, June 21st, but known around these parts as our wedding anniversary, the day when, back in 1958, Ann and I embarked on a truly remarkable journey together. Over the years, 49 of them now, we've experienced something that we never could have imagined when we began, a relationship that is unspeakably deep, grown to become filled with mutual respect, absolute trust, and profound love.

There is a scientific principle (used also in theology) called synergism, which describes what happens when the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It's not a very romantic term, I suppose, but it pins down the essence of our 49 years. Our lives individually have been good, of course, but our life together has raised the stakes to an entirely different level. Anne Lamott, one of our favorite philosophers/theologians, describes a good marriage a little more eloquently by saying that it is one in which each secretly believes he/she got the better deal!

From time to time and ever so often we get the whole family together, and it's always important to get the group picture taken. All of us. All 18 of us. And this picture of us with our grandchildren, children, and spouses, says it all.